This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
