Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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