Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
