How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
