Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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