Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
