my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
