$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
