How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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