Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Randomize
