Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
