Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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