Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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