Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
