If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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