The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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