we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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