When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
