An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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