you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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