i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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