I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
