i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
