Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
