Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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