I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Say something about gay babies.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
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