He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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