I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
