We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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