he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
babies were throwing up all over the place
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
