i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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