Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
