and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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