I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we're making bets on your personal life
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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