she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My life is pants optional.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
