that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
