College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
