i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Shame is for Republicans.
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