i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
