At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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