Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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