i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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