Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
