You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
