What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize