seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
