TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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