Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
it's great music for shaving your balls
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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