we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
