just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
