What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
